well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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