Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
