.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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