She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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