his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
