Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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