sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think your dad took our porno
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize