And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
