Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
