so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
