So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
