If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Your cock deserves a montage
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
