today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
