and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
