I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
