ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
