Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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