Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize