But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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