Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
