I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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