party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I cockslap morals
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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