I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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