This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
