it's not cheating when I paid for it
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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