can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
