I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
