bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize