So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
it was like eating out sand paper
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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