Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Too much gin, very little bucket
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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