After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
