i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
