I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
