She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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