Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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