He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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