If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
