Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I look better un-naked...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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