In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize