just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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