That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just cut my nipple shaving
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
