I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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