Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
