I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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