I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
