Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
"it" just moved
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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