He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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