she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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