Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
