We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
