I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
