i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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