I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
