I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Omg I joined a choir last night...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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