my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i believe in u and ur pee
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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