I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
