Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
