well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
