I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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